its not stalking. its research.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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