I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
