the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
