You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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