I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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