Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize