Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
