Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
