This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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