ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
