so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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