White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
