Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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