Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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