i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
