We won't sleep together?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
