Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize