You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
