So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My dick has a subreddit
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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