Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
