You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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