He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
