I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize