Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I enjoy the company of your penis
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
