Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
