My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize