Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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