Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
