My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
