I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
