you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
