Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
