office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
