I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
