I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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