i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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