I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
