She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize