we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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