It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
