you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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