I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
