I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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