btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize