Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?