Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am mentally ready for anal.