He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize