is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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