Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
