Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
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The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
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