let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
