Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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