beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
