the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
