It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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