All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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