I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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