you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We have so much sex to catch up on
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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