i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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