she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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