it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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