that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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