i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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