planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize